Mischief Meets Opportunity (Inglourious BasterdsAvengers Crossover)
by WhiteNoisePhantom
Summary: What happens when the god of lies and mischief is tossed from his reality into 1944 Midgard, right in the middle of Nazi Occupied France in the crossfire of World War II. And what happens when he meets the infamous "Jew Hunter"?


**"Mischief Meets Opportunity"**

Crossover Fic: Inglourious Basterds/The Avengers

Hans Landa, Loki Laufeyson

* * *

Loki walked down a random street in what he thought to be Midgard, though things did not seem quite right. This was not the version of Midgard he knew, there were men in uniform walking the streets, some with an oddly shaped symbol on their arm o a cuff of red. No this was something different entirely. Loki continued to walk, turning a corner, as he turned he bumped into a short man dressed in the same uniform as the other men.

"Watch where you are mortal, do you know who I am!" growled Loki, his fists clenched tightly, his green eyes starring daggers at the man.

"As a matter of fact I don't." said the man slyly with a light Austrian accented voice.

"Where in the name of the Nine realms am I?" Loki did not like the confident air that came from this man, just who did he think he was to speak to a god in such a way.

"Nazi Occupied France, and for good measure it's 1944." Said the man in reply, looking rather smug with a wide smirk on his lips.

"And who are you then mortal?"

"I am Colonel Hans Landa of the SS, surprised _you _have not heard of me." Said Hans still grinning widely, "Now what is your name?"

"I am Loki of Asgard, god of lies and mischief!"

Hans looked at Loki with a raised brow, thinking he was completely out of his mind, and as he looked at his clothing, that only sulitified the idea.

"Tell me Loki, are you aware of what's going on right now?" Asked Hans, curious to Loki's answer, for it seemed to himself that Loki was not quite in the right place, that or the right state of mind.

"I don't see what you mean mortal," said Loki, not liking his current standing, he didn't like being lost as to what was going on.

"The world is in war, shame that its happening again." Said Hans halfheartedly.

"What is that symbol, why are all these men wearing it?" Asked Loki, wanting as many answers as he could gather. He pointed to the little pin on Hans' uniform, causing Hans to look down at it.

"Ah its called a swastika, its what the German military uses now, Hitler's little mark for his ideology." replied Hans even more surprised Loki didn't know this much, just who was this man.

Loki didn't say anything more this time, he simply stared at the symbol longer, his emerald eyes focusing on it.

"Would you prefer for us to talk in a more private setting, it seems there is much we have to discuss." Said Hans.

"I can't see a reason to refuse."

Hans grinned a little wider, motioning over to a building down the street.

"There is where we can speak, not many people this time of day." Hans began to walk, Loki lingering behind. Loki gave Hans a second glance, mulling over his better judgement. He finally saw no real reason not to go with Hans, what could a mere mortal do to him?

Loki caught up, meeting Hans at an open door. There were voices coming from inside, but hardly a crowd.

"What place is this?" Asked Loki, peering in.

"A bar, though like I said there are not many people inside this time of day." Replied Hans gesturing forward again. "After you," said Hans with a smirk.

Loki walked forward, while he still kept an eye on Hans, this man was not like the other mortals he had encountered. Hans followed behind, closing the door. He called out to the barman, ordering drinks for Loki and himself.

"Now tell me, what is this war that goes on now?" Asked Loki as Hans took a seat with their drinks.

"That's a bit of a long drawn out story, but I think you might prefer a shorter answer." Said Hans raising his drink to his lips.

Loki nodded, not saying another word, a rarity of him to do so. Hans smiled lightly, setting his glass down.

"To put it very simply, a man named Adolf Hitler took power in Germany, he wanted to spread his beliefs and German domination throughout the rest of the world. Needless to say many were not keen to his ideals and goals." Said Hans with a chuckle.

"So that's the man the mortal Captain America was referring to." Mumbled Loki, thinking back to his time in Stuttgart, Germany when he was cut short by Captain America and Tony Stark.

Loki looked up at Hans, his hands twisting his drink lightly. He was trying to think of another question, there was still much he did not know.

"And where do stand in this war?"

"I stand where it best suits me, at the moment it is with Hitler and Germany." Said Hans, "Oh but that can change quite quickly, I assure you."

"You are a peculiar man Hans," commented Loki, finally taking a sip of his drink.

"I'm a man of opportunity, nothing peculiar about that Loki."

Loki looked at Hans with a raised brow, letting out a breathy laugh.

"Not so sure of that, but I'll give you the benefit." Loki chuckled, taking a bigger sip of his drink. He licked his lips, setting the glass down again.

"And what sort of man are you? You don't look like any ordinary man I have ever seen." Hans glanced across Loki's armor, making a point for Loki to take notice of this.

"I've told you, I am a god; you don't seem to be able to catch on to the fact." Growled Loki.

"Perhaps, but you have to admit that is a big thing for anyone to swallow." Said Hans in reply. Loki scoffed pressing his lips to the glass for another drink.

"It doesn't matter, I failed to concur Midgard, damn Avengers got in my way, oh and my brother helped them!" Said Loki from behind the glass.

"World domination hardly ever works in the range of history," said Hans slyly, "From Alexander to Napoleon to Hitler now, they all fall in the end I'm afraid. Some just last longer than others."

"But those are mere humans, I am a god, an Asgardian!" Growled Loki, not wanting to let go of his idea of kingship so easily

"You tried, you failed, you are no different Loki," chided Hans. He leaned forward pressing his finger to the table.

"I find complete domination to be an utter waste of time," said Hans, "Why have all the control when you can stand to the side and be the master from behind the curtain?"

Loki looked up from his glass, mulling over what Hans had said. He wiped the remains of his drink from his lips, giving Hans more of his attention.

"That is a good point," he said still thinking over Hans' words.

"Of course it is Loki, I didn't service a world war and become a colonel in the second without having good sense."

"When you do return to where you came from, remember what I told you, you'll be surprised how far it will take you."


End file.
